Section 2 - Midterms, Game Shows, and Dead Economists

In the words of Professor Seyhun, "Fall is upon us, which means many exams". Yes it does, and a few of us are sweating. No one is sweating more than our own Rob Mirman, but we're not sure that's from exams. It may be just that he rides a time trial to school on his bike everyday, or it may be that Mr. Mirman is really a Mer-man, which would mean that he surfaces Godzilla-like from Lake Whitmore each morning. Naresh Iyer, section two playboy, is definitely not feeling the test pressure, as he was overheard saying, "Yeah, I had five minutes left-over in the Econ quiz". That's why all the chicks dig you Naresh. Naresh would like to formally announce to the faculty, ladies of Sections 2 & 6, and all BBAs, that he has legally changed his name to 'N-Dawg'. In an exclusive interview with the MSJ, N-Dawg stated: "Hey man, from now on I will not respond to Naresh, Mr. Iyer, or any of the other names you beautiful ladies have been calling me. The name is now N-Dawg. Not N-Dog. It's N-Dawwwwwwg. Word, man."

As the passage of time takes us further into the core, we are also becoming more aware of the integrated nature of our coursework. Last week, the theme was famous economists. We heard about John Nash, the crazy guy from the movies, whose theories are now the inspiration for a not-so-popular game show. "Friend or Foe", a show seemingly only popular with Turkish finance professors, has given game theory, the prisoners dilemma, and Nash equilibriums their place in the sun.

Message to Professor Seyhun: If you would like to replace Homework 5 with a required watching of the Game Show Network, we will gladly oblige. John Maynard Keynes also got quite a bit of publicity, mentioned in three classes over the span of two days. His quote "In the long run, we're all dead" rung loudest in our discussion of the Newman's Own case, where Professor Yoon asserted that "everyone dies eventually, and Paul Newman WILL die". We will all be sad to see "Fast Eddie Felson" go.

But enough about dead or aging economists and movie stars. We would actually like to recognize an economist nearer and dearer to us, Professor LaFontaine, who prepared us for a trading floor simulation by proclaiming that, "The efficient market assumes no bathroom breaks", a doctrine destined to compete with the "invisible hand". In other trading floor news, Deuce FBI is still searching for the foolish person that bought for $11 when the equilibrium was $7. We will be glad to sell "luxury commodity" goods (like corn, or sugar) to this person once he/she is identified. The Deuce also learned during the market simulation why the Junk Yard Dog (J. Dolenga) is not able to sell on Ebay, as the electronic medium disables him from barking prices in monotone louder than all other sellers to establish competitive advantage.

George 'Gesundheit' Weinmann has been showing cell phone ringers and computer chimes who's the boss with his '5 Sneeze Salute'. GeGeorgeHeight has earned the envy of the entire section, dominating the class with his patented sneezing outbursts. Deucers sitting in front of George stated that they relish being peppered with saliva and Jimmy Johns when he gets into his sneeze rage. Professors have thus far been unsure how to deal with George's unexpected and powerful eruptions, but given the strength George displays with each sneeze, they are sure to proceed with caution.


This weeks events:

Jordan Harris will present a seminar entitled "Fruit Washing: How a faucet mounted filter changed my life". Mr. Harris will also do a demonstration fruit washing and discuss how he has fit his comprehensive wash procedure into his busy B-School life.

The Deuce is looking for budding artists. If you would like to join the fun, and be a star, an audition is as easy as setting your cell-phone to "loud" in Economics class. We already have a few acts lined up, including Brian Simpson's "You've lost that lovin feelin'", Hong Liu's touching cover of Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting", and Ulrich Fiehns rendition of "La Cucharacha". Rodney Emerson is also lined up, but you'll have to wait for Deuce "Jock Jams" to hear him sing his Steelers Chant.

Andre Taylor will be at the Ann Arbor Borders Books to promote his new children's book titled "Where's Andre?" Similar to the "Where's Waldo" franchise, the books will feature various locations around Ann Arbor with a challenge to kids to find Mr. Taylor. We are not sure if he will actually be there to sign his books or not, as that would kind of destroy all the fun of finding Andre in the first place.

After Andre's appearance/disappearance, Patience Allen will host a pinochle and bingo night at Borders Cafe, taking steps to further establish Borders as the community center that she wants it to be. She hopes this will help position Borders better in the face-off with Senior Citizen Centers that share the same target market.