B-School Men Revealed
Jen Kensok
Issue date: 3/31/08 Section: News
Have any of the women here at Ross ever noticed that, even though they are usually outnumbered, the female representation still tends to pull most of the weight on group projects? Ever wonder why that guy in back is content to let you do the talking on all those presentations while he twiddles his thumbs? Why these males seem to have an innate distaste for research? For writing of any sort? For pretty much anything besides making a "dope" NCAA bracket?
They've been discovered. Men at Ross aren't actually here for the quality education. They are, in fact, here for one purpose. To meet their "sugar momma," that wonderful woman who will take them in and support them, catering to their needs for new Mike Hart jerseys and a golf membership at the club. Certainly not all, but many, of the men in our business classes here at Ross care too much about that b-school curve; they're much more interested in the growth curve of their girlfriend's future salary.
"My parents always told me, 'Todd, if you can't be smart, be cute.' And I'm sure living by that rule now" says BBA senior Todd Smith (actually the inspiration for George Carlin's "Guys Named Todd" bit). "I'm not exactly seeing anyone, and I don't have any job lined up per se, but I have been slowly gathering phone numbers of all the women working at Goldman, JP Morgan, and McKinsey next year. If I time it just right, I may not even need to start working before my parents kick me out."
Julie, an MBA2 (name has been changed), remarks: "I first noticed that, in my group of six, only two of us did any work. I was the woman in the group, and the other one who actually showed up to meetings was married to a high school woman's soccer coach, so of course his chances at a sugar momma were down the drain." She didn't realize what the other men were up to until each of them asked for her number-after they heard who she'd be working for after graduation.
How do the women feel about this? Opinions vary, of course, but one thing is certain: these guys had better be pretty good looking if they expect to get anywhere with Ross women. "We're talking abs of an ultimate fighter, legs of an Ironman tri-athlete, and the chest of a lumberjack. A nose job, calf and pec implants if necessary-which they shouldn't be-and of course, you have to be able to cook. Or at least make a great stiff martini," MBA1 Sally Jones explains. "We're all at this top business school, some of the most talented women in the country-you think that beer belly you picked up from all those nights at the Jug is going to fly?"
BBA women seem to be less aware, but just as much at risk of falling prey to these under-achieving fellow classmates. Hear this often in the good ol' Kresge library on a Friday? "Oh, I'm sure John just had a rough night out last night; we did schedule this meeting for two o'clock." And poor Betty Sue is stuck picking up the work again.
Well, Betty Sue, just make sure the next time you're at Ricks and John is talking you up and down about that lucrative offer you just signed, you make it good and clear that if you're buying him this drink, he had damn well better be great in bed.
They've been discovered. Men at Ross aren't actually here for the quality education. They are, in fact, here for one purpose. To meet their "sugar momma," that wonderful woman who will take them in and support them, catering to their needs for new Mike Hart jerseys and a golf membership at the club. Certainly not all, but many, of the men in our business classes here at Ross care too much about that b-school curve; they're much more interested in the growth curve of their girlfriend's future salary.
"My parents always told me, 'Todd, if you can't be smart, be cute.' And I'm sure living by that rule now" says BBA senior Todd Smith (actually the inspiration for George Carlin's "Guys Named Todd" bit). "I'm not exactly seeing anyone, and I don't have any job lined up per se, but I have been slowly gathering phone numbers of all the women working at Goldman, JP Morgan, and McKinsey next year. If I time it just right, I may not even need to start working before my parents kick me out."
Julie, an MBA2 (name has been changed), remarks: "I first noticed that, in my group of six, only two of us did any work. I was the woman in the group, and the other one who actually showed up to meetings was married to a high school woman's soccer coach, so of course his chances at a sugar momma were down the drain." She didn't realize what the other men were up to until each of them asked for her number-after they heard who she'd be working for after graduation.
How do the women feel about this? Opinions vary, of course, but one thing is certain: these guys had better be pretty good looking if they expect to get anywhere with Ross women. "We're talking abs of an ultimate fighter, legs of an Ironman tri-athlete, and the chest of a lumberjack. A nose job, calf and pec implants if necessary-which they shouldn't be-and of course, you have to be able to cook. Or at least make a great stiff martini," MBA1 Sally Jones explains. "We're all at this top business school, some of the most talented women in the country-you think that beer belly you picked up from all those nights at the Jug is going to fly?"
BBA women seem to be less aware, but just as much at risk of falling prey to these under-achieving fellow classmates. Hear this often in the good ol' Kresge library on a Friday? "Oh, I'm sure John just had a rough night out last night; we did schedule this meeting for two o'clock." And poor Betty Sue is stuck picking up the work again.
Well, Betty Sue, just make sure the next time you're at Ricks and John is talking you up and down about that lucrative offer you just signed, you make it good and clear that if you're buying him this drink, he had damn well better be great in bed.
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