The Monroe Street Journal

Issue date: 3/31/08 Section: Features

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Ann Arbor, MI, April 1, 2008
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

In a press conference this morning, Robert Dolan, Dean of the University of Michigan Ross School of Business announced the sale of the internationally ranked MBA program for an undisclosed amount to the University of Phoenix (UOP) Online. "Given the recent slip in rankings and the particularly disappointing class of 2008, we decided to cut our losses and start anew. Furthermore, the recent construction workers strike and Stephen Ross' new initiative to relocate the Miami Dolphins facilities to our school are expected to hamper our abilities to provide the quality education you would expect from Michigan," said the Dean.

Dr. William Pepicello, Vice President and Executive Dean of the School of Advanced Studies at UOP was also in attendance at the press conference. "We are very excited to welcome the Ross School of Business into our family," said Pepicello, "and we see great things happening for our institution as a result. In fact, this may be just the boost we needed to finally receive national accreditation and recognition from the US Department of Education."

The deal, effective immediately, transitions all day and evening MBA classes into the University of Phoenix Online MBA platform. MBA classes will be podcast on the UOP Online MBA website and taught by existing UOP non-PhD faculty. Current Ross professors will go on hiatus and reconvene in the fall with a superior student body under a new yet to be determined school name. The incoming class of 2010 will be cherry-picked, weeding out the duds, and sent directly into the UOP Ross program in August. Furthermore, all MBA student diplomas handed out next month will be printed with the new name: "University of Phoenix Online, Ross School of Business".

In a non-surprising move, the BBA, MAcc, and dual degree Erb MBA/MS programs will remain under the University of Michigan. "It is painfully obvious that these three programs contain the smartest and most promising students. They are our best bet for increasing the Michigan brand name into the future," explained Dean Dolan.

UOP also believes the deal will increase its global reputation. A 2003 survey of HR professionals indicated that the majority would select a job candidate with an online degree from a traditional school such as USC or University of Michigan over a job candidate with a degree from an organization such as the of University of Phoenix. Dr. Pepicello said this survey was the impetus for his interest in the Ross purchase. "Obviously we are changing things by actually buying a piece of the University of Michigan," he laughed.

The University of Phoenix is a for-profit educational institution owned by Apollo Group, Inc. that specializes in adult education. The institution was founded in 1976 by a man who believed there is no difference between in-classroom and distant learning. The university has a prominent alumni base that includes basketball great Shaquille O'Neal. Although UOP's graduation rate is only 16%, well below the national average, Dr. Pepicello believes adding Ross to the mix should up that number to at least 19% and perhaps even 20%.

"This is certainly one acquisition that creates significant value on both ends," stated a current Ross Strategy Professor famous for his critiques on growth strategies for businesses. "I look forward to teaching the best students at the new Michigan MBA program and getting paid a ridiculous six figure fee to consult for UOP Online MBA," he added.

For more information on the University of Phoenix Online MBA program please visit www.uopxonline.com or call 1-800-MY-SUCCESS.

Editor's Note: The following article is a fictional story to celebrate April Fool's Day!

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