Divining My Recruiting Future
Ryan Barton
Issue date: 2/4/08 Section: Humor
So I finished my consulting interview a couple days ago and per the rules of the game, I've had to answer 1001 questions by well intending folks asking me how it went. I was growing a little tired of making up bulls*** like, "Well it was good practice", "I rocked that s***", or "I accidentally crapped my pants and then had to sit there for another half an hour smiling." So I decided to get ahead of the ball and go for an immediate answer and went to Tarot.com for a reading on my future.
Now as some of you may know, I was raised in Sarasota Florida.. yep, wintering grounds of the Barnum and Bailey Circus and my mom was a Karny. So in high school your mommas so fat jokes might be entirely all too true since my buddy Pat had the World's Fattest Mom. No s***, from October to March she never moved, stuck on the same bowed spot on the floor being fed by Pat's dad like a walrus at SeaWorld while watching two TV's simultaneously and between April to September the circus wheeled her from city to city in the back of what looked like a snow mobile trailer. She was forced to leave in the late 1990's due to Political Correctness concerns at Barnum and so she successfully sued for workplace discrimination and now she doesn't have to do anything at all but watch her TV's all year round. I s*** you not. Talk to me after class some day, I've seen some crazy s***...
Anyway, thank god my mom had a different job, she gave tarot fortunes for ten dollars a pop.. usually alternating between whispering then yelling in what I thought was a fair reproduction of a Romanian hag going on and on about life, love and other s***. While at home she spent most of her time b****in' then yelling about those same topics in what I knew to be a perfect Brooklyn accent. But enough about my childhood, cfuz you're not my shrink…
So anyways, I wanted to know what I was going to hear when I get that call but didn't want to talk to my mom who thinks I'm going to get a real job and get b****ed at when she reads my fortune and finds out otherwise. So I went to Tarot.com, like I said...
Now as some of you may know, I was raised in Sarasota Florida.. yep, wintering grounds of the Barnum and Bailey Circus and my mom was a Karny. So in high school your mommas so fat jokes might be entirely all too true since my buddy Pat had the World's Fattest Mom. No s***, from October to March she never moved, stuck on the same bowed spot on the floor being fed by Pat's dad like a walrus at SeaWorld while watching two TV's simultaneously and between April to September the circus wheeled her from city to city in the back of what looked like a snow mobile trailer. She was forced to leave in the late 1990's due to Political Correctness concerns at Barnum and so she successfully sued for workplace discrimination and now she doesn't have to do anything at all but watch her TV's all year round. I s*** you not. Talk to me after class some day, I've seen some crazy s***...
Anyway, thank god my mom had a different job, she gave tarot fortunes for ten dollars a pop.. usually alternating between whispering then yelling in what I thought was a fair reproduction of a Romanian hag going on and on about life, love and other s***. While at home she spent most of her time b****in' then yelling about those same topics in what I knew to be a perfect Brooklyn accent. But enough about my childhood, cfuz you're not my shrink…
So anyways, I wanted to know what I was going to hear when I get that call but didn't want to talk to my mom who thinks I'm going to get a real job and get b****ed at when she reads my fortune and finds out otherwise. So I went to Tarot.com, like I said...
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
Tarockspieler
posted 2/05/08 @ 3:44 PM EST
Paul O'Brien, CEO of tarot.com, has made some assertions about tarot for which there is no evidence at all. "It was masquerading as a card game for a long time because people could be burned at the stake for using it" and "It was more related to alchemy than religion. (Continued…)
AliX
posted 2/06/08 @ 9:22 AM EST
Well, I do a spot of Tarot reading myself and if I'd drawn these cards for you, I would have said: -
10 Swords - to me looks like you are a bit of a drama queen when it comes to 'your recruiting future" - maybe prone to a spot of over-exaggeration? Certainly shows the end of a cycle happening at any rate :-)
9 Cups - is usually associated with getting what you *think* you want, only to discover that it wasn't really what you wanted after all. (Continued…)
zombo
horse racing systems
posted 9/09/08 @ 5:15 AM EST
horse racing systems
Post a Comment